I won’t. I swear, I won’t judge you, call you an alcoholic or start sending you cat pictures to “cheer you up” because I understand. I understand that sometimes, after an exhausting day and a long bus ride home, you just feel like stopping at a depanneur and getting yourself a bottle of the second cheapest wine (actually, make it the cheapest wine, since you’re planning on drinking it alone– you have nobody to impress with your wine-picking skills). Of course, on your way out the store, with your $9.99 wine bottle shoved deep in your bag, you start telling yourself that you’re just going to drink a couple of glasses while catching up on your favourite shows. But who are we kidding here? You know very well that you’re going to finish it all, probably before the end of the first episode you’ll be watching and you might or might not use a glass, depending on how long the day has been. It’s fine, we all do it, we all joke about it with our close friends but we tend to create fancy stories when not-so-close friends ask us about our evening: “Oh, on Tuesday night? I just went straight home, took a long bath and was in bed by 9pm”. Yeah, right! You purposely forgot a small part in there and replaced it with a more socially-acceptable one: you were, in fact, in bed by 9pm, but it’s because you drank yourself to sleep and you didn’t take a shower, let alone a bath because, yeah, you drank yourself to sleep.
It’s fine, we all do it. In fact, there are two sorts of shaming we should absolutely put an end to: slut-shaming & solo-midweek-drunk shaming. Apparently, the problem with it is not that you’re getting shitfaced on a Wednesday, but rather that you’re doing it alone, in the comfort of your home, the coziness of your snuggie and the warmth of your bed. I mean, how ridiculous is that?! People would rather hear that you went out to a bar, spent a ridiculous amount of money and time hanging out with people that you’re probably going to see the coming weekend and, on top of that, risked your precious life going back home drunk. Oh no! You go drink that cheapest dep wine like you own it, Glen Coco!
One small piece of advice though, don’t go online on facebook, we all know how that ends up. What’s cool about getting drunk by yourself is that nobody can see you acting like a hot mess, but if you start chatting with someone on Facebook– someone you usually don’t talk to at all– and your wine-soaked mind comes up with the great idea to send a “hhhheeeeeyyyyyy, wassuuuuupp??”, that someone is going to witness your messy attitude; and trust me, seeing a drunk person be a mess is far less creepy than reading them being a mess. Also, it’s not like you can count on your memory to erase that part of your night because, in the morning, when you log on, you’ll be greeted with the last message that person sent you which will go something like this: “no I’m sorry, I have a gf”.
Kim is a Style and lifestyle columnist for The Main. According to him, there is absolutely no shame in getting winedrunk, alone, midweek. Follow his blog here!